For those of you new here, I have been dating my boyfriend Noah for almost four years this November. We started dating my sophomore year of high school thanks to my older sister’s boyfriend. (I know Jaret. I’m giving you the credit you deserve :)) We spent two years together in high school and then Noah left for college three and a half hours away from home. We are still going strong after all of this time, long distance and all, so I’m going to share my thoughts and how we make it work!
Then - 2017
Now - 2021
*Super fast I do want to say, I really did luck out in the boyfriend department. Noah is pretty dang awesome. So I think that helps a lot. :)*
Thoughts/Things I’ve Learned:
No matter how much you love each other, I think the most important thing is to make sure you are doing what’s best for YOU. You must live your own life and pursue your own dreams. Whether that means being at the same school/city or not, be sure to make the choice for yourself and nobody else. If you don’t, you’ll only regret it in the long run. Noah and I both have different life goals and as much as I wanted to be with him, college wasn’t my dream. So I chose to follow my own path and not go to school just because he was. Long distance sucks sometimes, but I’m so happy I’m doing what I want to do for me. And I know he is too.
In order to make long distance work, the number one most important rule is that you have to have trust in each other. If you don’t, it’s just not going to work. As simple as that. You’re only going to worry and be miserable if you don’t.
Communication is also super important. Noah and I try our best to make time to call each other at least once every day. We catch up on our days and fill each other in on what’s going on. It also gives you important time together and something to look forward to every day. (But obviously having that trust on days you can’t communicate is key.)
Long distance sucks sometimes and you miss your person a lot, but it makes time together THAT much more special. You really soak it up and take it in because you know you won’t see them for the next few weeks/however long. (And the hugs after being away for a while are always the best. :))
Find time to do special things when you’re away. I LOVE surprises and surprised Noah for our anniversary one year. He also surprised me and came home for my senior homecoming. Noah has Doordashed me food when I was having a bad day. I’ve sent Noah a gift box for Valentine’s Day when we couldn’t be together. We’ve set up facetime dates and watched Netflix together. It can be fun and you really do get creative!
Make sure you always remind and reassure each other of how much you love them. On a day when you’re down, it really can go a long way. It’s a reminder of how worth it this will be in the end.
There’s a billion other things I can talk about but I feel like these are the most important. If you truly love someone, you will respect them, trust them, and long distance CAN work. Am I saying these things work for everyone? Of course not. But don’t give up or feel like you have to end things just because you’re living in different places. It’s possible and it’ll be worth it in the long run!
If you are/were in a long distance relationship, what are your favorite things about it/what have you learned?